Last week, I found out that I am offered positions in the Masters in Counseling Psychology: Marriage and Family Therapy Program at Simpson University as well as in the Masters in Clinical Psychology: Marriage and Family Therapy Program through Azusa Pacific University's satellite campus in San Diego. They are my top two choices - which makes this totally exciting! While I'm still waiting to hear back from my other two applications - programs at CSU Stanislaus and Fresno Pacific University, Simpson and APU have always been my top choices, so I'm pretty set!
However, while I'm glad that I am offered these positions, they also are, quite frankly, freaking me out. Because choices eventually equal having to make a decision. One that I don't feel prepared to make.
In my life, I have made lots of big decisions. Ones that have sent me across the state for 4 years for university, took me on a 4 month adventure to study abroad in Ireland, or even taken me to South Korea for a whole year! While these decisions obviously had alternate choices, I've always had a clear idea of what I wanted; I just waited for the green light through acceptance to programs and whatnot. In this case, I don't know what I want. And it scares me. There are too many pros and cons. Blah.
In comes the tug-o-war in my poor little noggin. Pretty much every spare moment I have is consumed with thinking about pros and cons of each program. Price, location, people, distance, program qualities, internship opportunities, blah blah blah. I feel as if each program has a side of the rope and is pulling with all of its might. One of these days in the near future, I'll have to make a decision, and one side will have the flag pass over to their side.
No matter what, I know I'll end up where I'm supposed to be, because both programs are wonderful in different ways and have their own downfalls.
One thing that I'm going to try and do in this pre-decision time, is to just relax. Last Friday, I was super stressed about this decision. I was able to go up to my best friend Stephanie and her husband's ranch in La Grange, and while he was out of town, have such a good, relaxing, stress-relieving time. She lives on an absolutely gorgeous cattle ranch where we went shooting (I shot a 22 for the first time ever!), rode around and got a tour of the ranch on the 4-wheeler, ate dinner at this old restored saloon/bar that is the only restaurant in the tiny town, and just laugh a TON. The night up there was honestly like a mini-vacation that helped me to get perspective on my situation and thoughts. I am so blessed to have a best friend that is so encouraging, lets me rant and rave about the never ending pros and cons, and just make me laugh.
I honestly think I'm getting closer to a decision, but who knows. Big decisions are daunting, but I know in this case, it'll all work out the way it's supposed to. It always does.
