When you first learned to drive, was there anything that your mother/father/whoever taught you had to continuously remind you to do? Not me, of course; At 15 with my driving permit, I was a wonderful student, and I'm sure my driving was impeccable (let's be honest, I was
terrified to change lanes). When prepping to take the actual driving test after I turned 16, I remember being reminded to make it obvious that I checked my rear view mirror frequently.
I think we can all agree that there is a fine line between glancing at the rear view mirror once in a awhile to looking at it so much that it affects your ability to focus on what is around you right now and up ahead. Now, almost 7 years after I began driving, I sometimes think I check my rear view mirror
too frequently. As you can probably guess, I'm not talking about the physical rear view mirror in Wanda (my favorite little white Toyota Corolla whom I miss greatly). I'm talking about looking back on experiences in your life. Checking out the rear view mirror into your life, if that makes sense.
In my life, God has provided wonderful experiences for me to enjoy. However, as all good things do, they eventually must come to an end. As each adventure has come to a close and I move into something new, I tend to attempt to cling to the closing experience. Whether it was moving from high school to college, finishing a trip like New Zealand or amazing study abroad, or being done with each summer at Kidder Creek, I look in my "rear view mirror" too much. I long to relive the experience and relish in the wonderful details of what happened. It's good to have memories and reminisce once in awhile, but like with driving, if you get caught up in looking backwards, you might run into something undesirable in your future as well as not fully enjoy your current situation.
One amazing thing about glancing once in awhile into the past is to see where you have grown and been molded by God. Relating to that, here's what's showing in my rear view mirror these days - Kidder Creek Orchard Camps summer of 2010.
Exactly one year ago, I was beginning a summer as the Wranglers In Training (WIT) Program Director. Insecure, I didn't know how to adequately do my position, where the summer would lead me, or why God even called me back to Kidder in the first place. That first week I felt incompetent at my job - but looking back on it, God taught me
so much that week, let alone that whole summer.
He taught me that it's okay to fail and let others help me (picture a failed solo attempt at a campfire, and a grumpy Rachel when someone began to help).
He taught me the importance of verbal encouragement (picture an old truck that was slowly moving toward a fence every time I attempted to start it and a wonderful encourager had to keep saying "Rach, you can do it. just try one. more. time.)
He taught me about pouring my heart into my students and the joy it brings to watch them grown in Him.
He taught me to open my heart to others rooted in Him and speak deeply, laugh, and grow with them (picture lots of late night talks under beautiful star-filled skies)
and I think the most important was Him beginning to teach me about trust. That summer, I learned just the surface of what it means to truly trust His wisdom, love, and guidance. It's the reason that I'm in South Korea today. If I hadn't prayed so much about it and allowed Him to guide me, I don't think I would have actually applied and come here. At the time of all of this, I didn't realize I was learning so much - but my glances in the "rear view mirror" of my life has allowed me to appreciate it.
However, like I mentioned, don't keep your eyes focused on the past. If I did that, I wouldn't fully appreciate what I am experiencing every day here in Korea. I wouldn't be able to embrace what He is gracing me with today because I'm still focused on yesterday.
Just like you do when driving, find a balance. Don't forget your past, but don't hold onto it like a lifeline. God calls us to move forward - He has something new for us.
"But forget all that - it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19
by the way, although I may have rubbed the curb with the hubcaps, (whoops) I passed my driver's test on the first try. However, let's not focus on that part of my past and as the All American Rejects would say "Move Along."