Holy Moly, I'm actually going.

so, yesterday was a big deal.

I mailed my most prized possession at this point off in the ever so unreliable Post Office yesterday.  In case you are confused, I'm talking about my passport.  I sent it to the Korean Consulate in San Francisco to hopefully be granted an E-2 VISA in a very timely manner. (here's hoping).

I then proceeded to shell out $820 for a one way ticket to orientation in Busan (or Pusan, same thing), South Korea.  My flight will leave from San Francisco at 6:10pm Tuesday, February 15th. Which is currently less than 3 weeks away. Goodness gracious.

Realizing this is probably redundant, I will say it again anyway: I can't believe I'm moving to South Korea. Just thinking about it brings up giddiness followed by fear followed by adrenaline followed by sadness followed by giddiness again.  Basically my emotions never cease to confuse me.  People ask me how I feel about it and it's so hard to explain!  This process has been sooo long and tedious I feel that just going will be an achievement in itself. 

I don't know if any of you know what all I have been doing to get to this point, but I'll share the short version:
1. Pre-Application just to see if I qualified
2.Apply for FBI Criminal Record Check (fingerprints etc.) back in early Sept
3. Online application (essay, acquire 2 letters of rec, 15 pg application questions, sealed transcripts)
4. 45 minute nerve-racking phone interview with EPIK interviewer in South Korea
5. wait. wait. wait.
6. Passed the interview, now keep waiting for FBI CRC.
7. Get FBI CRC, take it to Sacramento to get it apostilled (internationally recognized version of notarizing, but docs must be notarized first. dumb.)
8. Send in all paper documents.
9. Wait and wait some more.
10. Find out my top 4 city choices had no more teaching positions available - thought I wasn't going (early December)
11. Position found in Daegu! (early Jan)
12. Contract finally arrived late Jan - apply for E-2 Visa, do Tax Residency Form, buy plane ticket, figure out how to pack for a year in 2 suitcases in 4 weeks, see as many people as possible.
13. Finished TESOL course back in December and am still waiting on certificate. great.

I'm glad the tedious, time sensitive agenda items are almost done - now if only I can get my Visa in a timely matter I think I'll be good.  After looking back at all I've been working through the past couple of months to get to this point, I'm even more excited.  I can't wait to explore and meet people and have culture shock and an apartment and find a Christian Korean Church and adventure and hike and experience life in Korea.  I can't wait to try crazy food and not understand the signs and maneuver the subway and meet people from around the world.

I. Can't. Wait.

Luckily, I only have 19 days to wait. I guess I can do that.

oh, family.

I'm realizing I think that the hardest part of being gone will be being away from my amazing family.  Yes, I'll miss friends and the comforts of America and normalcy of an everyday life where nothing is drastically different from the previous day...but I'll make new friends (and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold!), I'll find comforts of Korean life and normalcy will just change to a different type of normalcy in Daegu.  However, family is irreplaceable.

I have been so blessed to have family play such a prominent role in my life.  I know people who will do anything to get out of a large family get together or even detest a quiet evening with their parents. Quite the opposite of that, I look forward to holidays for the sole idea of spending a day of laughter, teasing, and love with all my cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and immediate family.  While some of them may not always understand my decisions (like why I would decide to go to Korea haha), they are still the most supportive, loving family.  My cousins are not merely family members but wonderful friends of mine who I love to be with. And while a quiet evening in with my parents may not be my choice for every night, I enjoy time with them a lot.  Living at the house again these past 5 months has given me a chance to grow even closer with them and enjoy their company, support, and love so much.  I'm a lucky girl to have a family like this.

And then there's the little bundle of joy my sister, Sarah, and brother-in-law Jareb brought into the world on Sept. 3 of this year.  Little Josiah and their beautiful family will be some of the hardest to leave.  Technology will be a life saver in allowing me to see them and how Josiah continues to become a little boy, but Skype can only do so much.  I'm going to miss them. a lot.


Luckily, in the past month, I've had the joy of spending quality time with so many people of my family in so many contexts - we had the first holiday in quite a few years where the entire Milhous clan was at my grandparents' house for Christmas dinner, I was able to spend time with my cousin Cory and his family in San Diego right before new year's eve, I flew to San Antonio, TX for 5 days with my cousin Emily to visit her brother, Justin who is stationed there for the Air Force, and this past weekend I rode with my parents and grandparents to San Luis Obispo to see my cousin Sammy play basketball at Cuesta and celebrate my cousin Amanda's birthday.  When thinking of all of these trips and people, I just am reminded how lucky I am to have family I actually want to see and want to see me.

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.  ~Anthony Brandt

Finally, a specific leave date!

Well, I finally know my leave date for South Korea!  I'll be taking off from San Francisco on February 15th!!

Here are the details I know so far:  I need to be in Busan (or Pusan - I still don't really know why it is referred as both spellings) on February 17th.  We'll be having orientation at a Pukyong National University in Busan.  Luckily they are providing transportation from the airport to where we're having orientation so I won't have to worry about figuring out how to get a taxi and then communicate with the taxi driver, so that's a relief!  However, I still have no idea how long orientation is or how I will get to Daegu after orientation or what grade I will be teaching or what my apartment looks like or soooo many other unknowns.  Guess like everything else, I'll just have to wait and see!

Until then, my life is consisting of appointments, Rosetta Stone of Korean, getting my visa and other certs, attempting to pack my life into 2 suitcases for a whole year, and most importantly, spending time with family and friends.  Between my trip this past week to Texas to see my cousin, this coming weekend going to San Luis Obispo to see family and my cousin Sam play basketball, and my going away party, I'm so lucky to get to spend time with most of my close family!! 

As I keep thinking of people that I can't imagine not seeing for a whole year, I'm realizing how blessed I am to have such a large amount of family and friends that I care so much about.  Whether I've said it to you lately or not, I appreciate each and every one of you in very different ways.  I just can't imagine my life without everyone currently in my life!

I've decided that from now until I leave - and probably while I'm there initially too - my brain is working overtime.  Even as I'm trying to write this blog, I've added to my to-do list twice, searched for flights, reread my email about my leave date, and kept reminding myself not to stress about packing tonight...to let that sit for a few days.  So I apologize if the next few posts are rambling or muddled, as they may well be.  Or if you call me and ask me something about my trip and I start rambling.  I'm just so excited.  I'm ready for this adventure.  Still terrified and nervous.  But for now, the excitement is overriding all of that.  And that's how I intend to keep it.

South Korea? yes please.

I love how God works. Not that I understand it or will even claim to vaguely get it. But it keeps me on my toes to say the least.  I'll explain.

So I'd been trying for the past two days to get a hold of my recruiter to see where my status was for the teaching position in South Korea and I received an email from her last night saying she had been out of the office since Christmas, etc. and is trying to contact the EPIK (English Program in Korea, the program I'm going through) to see mine and many others' statuses. I still had no idea when I would actually hear substantial news back from her.

Then this morning, I saw the quote "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." by Carrie Ten Boom and for the first time in quite awhile, felt at peace about my future for the next year.  I've been so stressed and unsettled about the lack of knowing I've experienced and I love that when I give it over to God and fully commit my nervousness to Him, He takes care of it.  

About an hour after I had fully given it to God and even shared with my mom the quote, my phone rang. And yes, it was my recruiter.  She was calling to tell me that EPIK is offering me a position in the city of Daegu in South Korea. ahhhhhhhhhh!!! Let's just say I was (and still am) what I like to call a stir fry of emotions (more about that in a bit). Daegu is towards the south in South Korea and is a fairly large city.  Lauren, my recruiter, said that it is the most historically dense areas of SKorea and is full of natural beauty, culture, and wonderful people as well as having a medium size population of foreigners.  Sounds so ideal. 

It's less than an hour from the city I thought I wanted to be in, Busan, which makes it easy to go visit Japan and head to the beach.  Here's a map so you can have a visual of where it is in South Korea, as opposed to me trying to describe it.  

I'm ecstatic, relieved I have a position and a plan, stressed again instantly about planning to leave, very very torn and sad about leaving family and friends...especially my new little nephew Josiah, excited for an adventure and experience of a lifetime, and scared to be gone for a year.

1 year. that's 12 months. or 52 weeks. or 365 days. or 8,765.8 hours.

That's a lot of time to be gone.  I know it hasn't set in yet, and I also know that a year will go by fast once I'm over there, but it's still a huge deal to me.  Family is so important, and I'm so used to seeing everyone every holiday.  However, I guess one year isn't bad when you think about how many people don't see family for a year just within the US.  So many people will get married while I'm gone. So many lives and perspectives will change, as I'm sure mine will too.

I know I'm rambling now, but I'm beyond excited.  I'm going to South Korea. I'm doing it. Thanks, God.

Home is people, not a place.

"It is good to feel lost... because it proves you have a navigational sense of where "Home" is. You know that a place that feels like being found exists. And maybe your current location isn't that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it."

 Someone posted this on their facebook today, and I definitely appreciate it.  I'm in such a transition time in my life, and the longer I'm in this time, the more unsettling I seem to find it.  I want everything to fall perfectly into place, to know where I'm going with my life, and to have a plan.  I want to know where I should move, who I should pursue staying close friends with, and what I should do about grad school or job or travel.  I want to know now.  However, maybe it's good that I'm feeling this.  Maybe I need this to realize that I'm blessed to have felt the feeling of "being found."  I know what it feels like to belong somewhere completely, and I know I will find that again.  If I let Him, God will lead me to the place of "being home" again, whether that is in South Korea, Hughson, San Diego, or some other uncharted [by me] state or country.

Something else I was thinking about today was the idea that in my current age and position in life right now, home may not be a certain place, but can be with certain people.  I just was on an amazing road trip to a wedding of two people I worked with this past summer at Kidder Creek.  There were about 25 of us Kidder folk at the wedding, and I was reminded of how at home I feel with them.  I know that I can be myself with them and they will be there to pray for me, laugh with me (and at me when applicable), express my concerns, and share in my joys and sorrows.  They feel like home. 

And then there are my old roommates from last year at Point Loma who are still living in San Diego.  Visiting them makes me feel at home again too. They know every side of me and still make me feel valued and loved.  They feel like home.

And then there's my family and physical home in Hughson.  They are the traditional feel of home that cannot be replaced. It is the town that I began to realize who I was, my goals in life, and the base of my faith, morals, and love of living in the country.  My family (both immediate and extended) are phenomenal. They feel like home.

I guess I need to take this step back and realize how lucky I really am to have all of these places/people to feel at home and found with.  My family jokes that I fall in love with the place and people wherever I go.  Maybe I need to let God do His thing and realize that I will adapt and love wherever I am, because He will provide me with the people if I let him.

A fresh start.

Well, I've decided to embark on blogging again.  As some of you may know, I did a bit of blogging when I was studying abroad in Ireland to document my time as well as allow others to have a glimpse into the adventures I was experiencing. (takingonireland.blogspot.com if you care to read them!)  I have the same overall goal here, although at this point I don't know if my adventures will be outside of the US or just some good ol' American life experiences.

Along those lines, I'm on pins and needles waiting to see if I will be enjoying the US or South Korea for the next year.  I was on route to be teaching English in South Korea from mid-Feb 2011 to March 2012...however, I was supposed to be assigned a city by the end of the year - and it's currently January 3 with no news. In this case, no news is bad news.  Now I don't know if I will be going at all, and if I don't, I must now figure out my life and job and grad school and everything joyous like that.  To question if I am stressed is quite a silly question - I most undoubtedly am - but am working on this whole concept of trusting God to lead me in the direction that He wants me to go.  Not my own desires, but to live out His story for my life...and it's hard.  I like plans and being decisive and stability.  God tends to throw those things out of the window (or just keep me out of the planning process, which I guess is understandable, I mean, He IS God.)  Anyway, now is just a waiting game...we'll see!

Okay, let's back up.  You might have noticed the title "Attempting to live a good story" and thought, "great, but what does she mean by that?" Let me explain.  If you've read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller, it should make sense.  If you haven't read it, go buy it and read it right now - seriously so good and life changing.  Anyway, it's about Donald Miller comparing each of our lives to a story.  Our life IS our story.  They have what he calls inciting incidents, memorable moments, etc.  He shares his progression of learning what it takes to live a good story - and that stories have ups and downs but take choices and risks and adventure to make them enjoyable.  He also talks about how God wants us to live a good story...and I guess that means I want to live a good story too! That should clarify the title a bit and my goals in doing this blog...feel free to comment, email me thoughts on anything I post, or just follow along with my adventures!