hope&joy

2014 was a doozy. A rip-roaring doozy.

There were joys: multiple trips to San Diego, standing next to one of my best friends from college in her joyous wedding, spending quality time with my amazing family, and successfully beginning [and enjoying!] my practicum clinical placement and subsequently becoming closer to finishing my masters. 

However, more looming are the deep sorrows that have created a shadow over this past year: my Grandma Milhous, who never smoked a day in her life, losing a 9 month battle to lung cancer in July; one of my favorite grad professors, Rebecca Carter, who changed so many lives, losing her life in December to cancer 10 extremely short weeks after being diagnosed; and although this may seem small to some, we had to put my childhood cat down in May after an inoperable tumor grew and caused him extreme discomfort. 

My heart hurts when I think of these sorrows of last year. Why two such amazing, loving, God-honoring people were taken by cancer, I'll never know. 

But, as I head into 2015 and my first of 3 more terms before I graduate (24 weeks [plus breaks], 216 hrs of sitting in class, and 9 actual courses…not that I'm counting or anything), I keep being reminded of this:

We must keep hope and we must choose joy. 

hope.

I have hope that 2015 will be better than 2014. I have hope that someone, somewhere will find the cure for cancer and I pray it happens in my lifetime. I have hope that God will use my life for good, even if it doesn't look exactly as I would have pictured it. I have hope that my niece and nephews will continue to develop into amazing, God-honoring people. I have hope that those who encountered Rebecca Carter's teaching will share what they learned about God and life and trust to others. I have hope that these sorrows will be weaved into my story in a way in which I honor those I lost this year. 

I. have. hope. 

joy.

When I was home for Christmas, I was asked by some really wise friends, "What did you learn in 2014?" After a little bit of contemplation over a delicious panini, great conversation, and a glass of wine, I decided this:

2014 solidified my decision to choose joy. Happiness comes from happenings, but joy is deeper; it comes from choice. It most often is a conscious decision. It is something you may have to remind yourself to choose every day, every hour, every 15 minutes, but there is always something to find joy in. The one big example I can find from this year is that through the sorrow of my grandmother's passing, my grandpa and I have created a closer relationship than I have ever had previously. I am choosing to be joyful in that. To look at the sad situation of missing Grandma, and be happy that at least I can call my grandpa and easily chat with him about life.

Overall, I'm stoked 2014 is over. I'm ready for 2015 and all it has to offer. 

Happy 2015 from the Milhous fam!